Musical Musings

 

• Nelly Furtado to release a duet with Justin Timberlake, called "Crowd Control", which will most likely be able to clear any dance floor in record speed.  [We Love Celebs]
• 50 Cent is offering a scholarship to kids for exercising and eating healthy.  It's very surprising to discover that 50 has time to focus on his diet when he wears a bulletproof vest everywhere he goes.  [BiggestStars]
• Madonna does the same old-same old at Coachella.  [Gasbmash, Arjan, Queerty]
• Charlotte Church's family is so chavtastically troublesome, that she is reportedly taking two years off to deal with their problems.  [Entertainmentwise]
• Napster has finally surrendered.  [MetaFilter]
• Sean Paul states the obvious.  [Contact Music]
• Ne-Yo likes to imagine that he's a magnificent lyricist.  [Letters to Famous People]
• Has JLo modeled her entire "singing" persona after Mariah Carey?  [NovaSlim]
• The release of Kelly Rowland's new album will be delayed until next year, to give them a chance to re-edit all of Solange Knowles's backing vocals.  [SOHH]
• Liam Gallagher must have just discovered that there is this famous band called Coldplay.  [Contact Music]
• Profile of Jamie Foxx.  [Female First]
• Khia takes time from her flourishing career as a prostitute to release a new album.  [Crunk and Disorderly]

News and Nonsense

 

• Angelina Jolie seems to have conveniently forgotten that she hooked up with Billy Bob Thornton while he was engaged to Laura Dern.  [Contact Music]
• How do you sell more razors?  By calling attention to the fact that a manscaped penis looks bigger.  [Adrants]
• And in news that will surely make a number of penises shrink, Helena Bonham Carter plans to design her own line of underwear.  Inspired by the numerous period films she has been in (no pun intended), the line will feature bloomers and fancy pantaloons.  [Ananova]
• London will host this year's European Gay Pride festivities, subjecting citizens to a fortnight of tacky drag queens and bad club music.  [BBC]
• Mr. T is determined that he won't be forced to live on Social Security.  He will do anything on TV, as long as it provides a paycheck.  [Variety]
• Is anything in Kaavya Viswanathan's book original?  Passages copied from yet another bad chick lit novel have been found in her book.  [Jossip]

Random Ruminations

 

• Ashlee Simpson has made so many mistakes of her own, that there isn't enough time in a day for her to make the same mistakes that Jessica has made.  And when she finally becomes as rich as Jessica, she'll probably splurge by getting a boob job too.  But, until then, she has to settle for a nose job, because it's cheaper. [Contact Music]
• Jennifer Lopez says that whenever she and hubby Marc Anthony are in a room together, they just can't stop laughing, because even they can see how ludicrous their marriage looks to the rest of us.  [Ananova]
• Speaking of JLo and Jessica Simpleton, JLo didn't want Jessica to be on the cast of the upcoming Dallas film, because the acting coaches should only have to waste time tending to one nontalent, and not two.  [Gabsmash]
• Toure must be worried that someone has kidnapped Beyonce's weave and is planning to sell it on eBay, because that is the only sensible explanation as to why she dared to appear in public without it.  [A Socialite's Life]
• Is Ashton Kutcher really anything more than a babysitter with benefits?  [Just Jared]
• Prince Harry will always be a poor little rich boy.  [ONTD]
• Will Kaavya Viswanathan end up like Lauren Weisenberger in a couple of years?  [NYDN]
• Oxygen vs. Spike TV.  [Village Voice]

Tuesday Trivialities

 

• Interview with Laurence "Don't Call Me Larry" Fishburne.  [Journal News]
• Speaking of Larry, Samuel L. Jackson is tired of people getting the two actors confused.  It is hard to tell them apart sometimes, since they both look so much alike.  [Contact Music]
• The Supreme Court gives Anna Nicole Smith her golddigging pass back.  [Jossip]
• Tom Cruise might well be a celebrity terrorist.  [Digital Spy]
• But hopefully, he's not one of the people who is sending death threats to Susan Sarandon.  [Independent]
• Interview with Edward Norton.  [Just Jared]
• By enlisting Jessica Alba to host its Movie Awards, MTV shows us that it doesn't even try to cater to people with at least half a brain anymore.  [Contact Music]
• Johnny Depp to play Mick Hutchence in a new biopic.  [BiggestStars]
• Rosie O'Donnell's biggest challenge at her new gig on The View won't be dealing with Star Jones; Rosie is contractually obligated to "keep it femme".  [Jossip]