Fun with Craigslist: Women vs. Men Edition

  Some tips on dating and dealing with women, from the poor man's John Gray: 

Some rants and accumulated experience about women. Men in happy marriages or stable relationships don't need to read this; neither do men who get laid every week (or even every month). The "truth" I'm putting out here is for all of those men who, like me, worship women and can't figure out why they keep getting screwed over and dumped. The myths are things that I used to believe before I wised up.

Translation: I was compelled to document my thoughts on this topic because I've gone through most of my life being unlucky in love, and I personally think that the dating game is a scam.  I did all the things that I was supposed to do, I even read a bunch of books, took advice from friends, went on blind dates, etc., etc., but none of that crap ever really worked for me.  Now that I'm older, I realize now that it's easier to bag chicks because a lot of the ones who are 35-ish are so desperate to get married, that they'll even date guys like me.

MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well. If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.

TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she'll think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) and she'll dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a loser that other women won't touch, she'll dump you. Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she's made, and if she thinks that they wouldn't want you, then she doesn't want you either.

There are only three exceptions to this rule.  

•  
  • Psychos (also known as witches/bitches/crazy ladies): they'll stay with you because nobody else wants them, or you're the only one who'll put up with their abuse
  • Women who like to "fix men up": they like to take "broken men and turn them into the man they want
  • The one you marry: the woman who isn't a psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out you're not a super stud, and doesn't want to change you into someone else 

Translation: I have no luck getting hot young chicks, so I gave up trying to date them, and I moved on to the older women who don't care about who they date, because they're not as picky.

Sour Notes

• Madonna shows Dan "Da Vinci Code" Brown a thing or two on her new tour. I bet her kids will really be confused now.   [Mollygood, Towleroad, D Listed]
• Toni Braxton's career is officially over; after she finishes her stint in Vegas, expect to find her prowling the reality show circuit.  [Concrete Loop]
• Imogen Heap almost gets into a heap of trouble over a childish prank.  [Arjan]
• Is Hip Hop finally losing its luster?  [HHB]
• Interview with Nelly Furtado.  [London Times]
• 25 Best Music Websites.  [Stereogum]
• New music from Monica.  [Cake and Ice Cream]
• Interview with Teena Marie.  [Honey Soul]
• Introducing Corinne Bailey Rae, the latest overly hyped waif with an annoying voice (think: Macy Gray on helium).  [UK Guardian]
• Avril Lavigne completes her metamorphosis from sk8r grrl shrew to Hollywood femmebot.  [BiggestStars]

News and Nonsense

 

• Sofia Coppola to release yet another film that most people will hate.  [London Times]
• Ron Howard tries subliminal tricks to ensure that as many people as possible will pay money to see the Da Vinci Code; and it must have worked, because despite all of the dismal reviews, people turned out in droves this weekend to see it.  [Defamer]
• R.I.P. Katherine Dunham.  [AP]
• "Sloppy Seconds with Opah Mehta".  [Morning News]
• Items left off of Britney Spears's baby shower wish list: a baby stroller, a good nanny, and a fully functioning brain.  [D Listed]
• Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, and Paris Hilton actually make Barbie look like the better role model.  [UK Observer]
• Now we see why John Stamos is still stuck on the C-List with people like Wilmer Valderrama.  [IDLYITW]
• There is nothing new under the sun: a lot of young girls aspire to be brainless, golddigging whores who only live to spend money and to be seen.  [London Times]

Monday Musings

 

• Puffy, attempting to show chavs what true ghetto fabulosity is all about, can shell out $65 million for an estate in London, but he can't seem to afford to keep up on his child support payments.  [Gawker] 
• Jennifer Lopez is pregnant, but it seems that the major news outlets have forgotten to report it.  [A Socialite's Life]
• Conan O'Brien to host this year's Emmys, because it's one of the few jobs in which you can get paid well to put people to sleep.  [PopWatch]
• Now albinos are speaking out against the Da Vinci Code film.  [Gawker]
• Jessica Simpson's hairstylist has moved up the foodchain from stylist to confidant, so naturally, this means that Jessica needs to start looking for someone who doesn't have to exert enough brain power to listen to her problems and try to keep her hair looking decent.  [Mollygood]
• Sometimes it pays to play nice, especially when you're a billionaire who's on the brink of divorce proceedings without the advantage of having a prenup.  [SkyNews]
• ABC should stop pretending that it actually cares for its other newscasters, and just have Charlie Gibson and Diane Sawyer cover all of the news.  [Jossip]
• Something we already knew: K-Fed really is a low-life.  [The Bosh]