Fun with Craigslist: G-Unit Edition

Craigslist 

Craigslist ad looking for models for a G-Unit promo swimsuit calendar [via Tale of Two Cities]:

We are currently putting together a G-Unit 2005/2006 promo swimsuit calendar and we are holding invite-only castings this week ONLY, in our NYC offices.  We are seeking models nine 18-24, any ethnicty, attractive, with a very sexual, music video appearance.  Models must also be very professional and posess good attitudes.  This is a great photo oppourtunity for models and a chance to introduce yourself to the rest of the nation. 

Models who are selected will have a month and a group spread with 2 other models and a G-Unit artist.  This is a swimsuit calender, so besides pretty faces, we are seeking outsandingly fit and proportioned bodies.  Again, this is a promo calender, and like a lot of other urban publications and projects, there is no pay, but it is VERY good exposure. 

Translation: (If Craigslist doesn't have a spell check option, they seriously need to think about adding one)

We are currently puting together a promotional "skank" calendar and we are holding invite-only castings this week ONLY, in a loft or warehouse (location to be disclosed at a later time).  Don't even think about showing up if you were not specifically invited.  (Unless you are willing to perform certain favors or fulfill certain requests of executive members of the crew; and even if you are willing to do that, it is still not a guarantee that you will be chosen to be photographed for the calendar).  We know this is short notice, but since we only came up with this idea at the spur of the moment (actually, somebody thought of it while we were all getting high last weekend), this couldn't be helped.

We are seeking "models" (strippers, aspiring actresses, dancers, and video girls are encouraged to respond) ages 15-27 (those over 23 need not apply if you can't pass for a younger age), any ethnicity (long hair/weave is preferred); the "video ho" look is what we're looking for.  Models must be respectful to the artists and photographers, and crew, and give in to all demands and requests without giving attitude or back talk. 

This will give you the chance to be seen.  If you are pretty enough and obedient enough, you might get the chance to be picked by a talent scout to do more photo shoots, which might leasd to bigger and beer things (for example, music videos, straight-to-video movies, and maybe even porn, if you're willing to go there).  And if you're really lucky, one of the artists might decide to enlist you as an additional member of his prestigious entourage. 

Selected models will have a designated month and a group spread and groping-fest with 2 other models and one of our prestigious artist (or maybe more, if any of the other artists decide that htey want to join in on the fun).  This is a swimsuit calendar, so if all you have to offer is a pretty face, you need not apply.  This means that if you cannot fit into a swimuit of our choosing, or if you have an aversion to posing provocatively or sexually with other women, this is not the job for you.  If you are overweight, or if your breast size is not at least a C-cup, don't even think about answering this ad. 

Again, this is a promotional calendar, and like a lot of urban publications and projects (i.e. magazines, films, and music videos), there is no pay.  Don't even think about complaining, because we are footing all the expenses for this project, besides offering your unknown ass the chance for some major exposure. 

If you are interested in contributing to this project, please send a prompt response.

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