Fun with Craigslist: Roommates Edition

July 7, 2005

Craigslist 

[Link via Defamer]

Share a home with professional male sincere person in a very nice area in the hills in west San Fernando valley.  All housing expenses paid plus some care expense.  You sincere responsible clean Female 21 to 35 yrs o assist me out part time in shopping, run errands, computer help, hot tub company, enjoy a cock tail and be a good company.  Please email a not about you, your living situation and photo.  No pets, drugs or full time workers.  Serious inquiry only.

Translation:

I have a big house that I live in (all alone), located in West San Fernando Valley.  I am a male in desperate need of companionship, and since my ads on other areas of this site haven't solicited the responses that I'm looking for, I decided to try this one.  I'm willing to pay for all expenses, and you can even use my car sometimes, if you're willing to chauffeur me around from time to time. 

I'm looking for a sincere, responsible, clean Femaile (21 to 35 years of age) to basically be my concubine.  I'll need you to assist me (part time chores/part time sex) in shopping, running errands, and computer help.  I'll also expect you to play around with me a little in my hot tub, enjoy a "cock tail" with me from time to time (my cock in your tail, along with a few cocktails), and I'll expect you to listen to me talk whenever I feel like talking to someone. 

Please email a note about you, your living situation, and a photo.  No pets, drugs, or full time workers.  I'm only looking for someone with time to give me their undivided attention whenever I request it.  If you're going to be my concubine, you can't be beholden to anyone else.  Serious inquiries only.

Hi, I'm seeking a dancer or escort that is welcome to share my house & my bedroom.  My ex was in the business, but after we parted ways she moved out.  My place is perfect for an independent woman on the go, that doesn't spend too much time at home or works late hours.  I'm a night person myself.  $160/week.  This includes rent, utilities, sharing my room, free wi-fi internet, phone local & long distance, running errands, cooking, dry cleaners, etc… 

I'm in Los Angelesclose to everything in a safe neighborhood.  If you want to talk more about it, call me.  I just turned 29, male, cute, Latino (I love to speak Spanish!!!).  I'm not the jealous type, and I love good music.  I also know of many ways to make money and usually have candy. 

Manuel

Translation:

I'm seeking a dancer/stripper/escort/or garden variety skank to share my house and bedroom.  My ex was in the life the business, but after we broke up, she moved out.  My place is perfect for an independent woman on the go (i.e. a stripper, streetwalker… if you work late, this is the perfect opportunity for you).  I'm a night person myself, so when you come home from the club/corner, I'll most likely be waiting up for you.

$160/week, includes rent, utilities, sharing my room (and my bed, and if you're acrobatic, well, that would be an added bonus!).  Also, free wi-fi Internet, and phone service, and a few other perks…  I'm in LA, close to everything, and in a safe neighborhood (well, I'm probably the closest thing to a pervert that you'll find in this neighborhood, if you catch my drift). 

If you want to talk more about it, just call me.  I just turned 29 (but I still act like I'm 17), male, cute, Latino (I love to speak Spanish; I need to stay in practice anyway, before I forget everything I learned in high school).  I'm not the jealous type (so, if you want to bring your johns home with you sometimes, it's okay with me, as long as I get to watch, or join in on the fun), and I love good music.  I also know of many ways to make money (I've been around the block, so I'm hip to quite a few cons/small time business schemes), and I ususally have candy (that's the way that I currently make my living, selling candy at busy intersections around town).  Manuel

1bdrm large apt to share for the right girl/quasi-girl.  I am a 29 year old male spiritual shaman/real estate insurance sales manager and I am leasing an expesive car and as such and I feel I am entitled to female enslavement.  Minutes from the beach, serious inquiries only.

Translation:

1 Bdrm large apt to share for the right girl/tranny girl.  I am a 29 year old male con artist/real estate loan shark…  I am a true asshole who feels the need to dominate women/quasi-women, and I long to indulge my ultimate fantasy of female enslavement. 

Unfortunately, the rates on the white-slavery market are too steep for me at this point in time, so I have to rely on Craigslist to fulfill my needs.  I live minutes from the beach, so the possibilities for S&M games and kinky intrigue are endless; serious inquiries only.