Sour Notes

September 30, 2006

Jessica Simpson 

  • Jessica Simpson is learning that big breasts and blonde hair will only get you so far, if you don’t have Nick Lachey there to do the thinking for you.  [The Bosh]
  • Coldplay is reportedly planning to retire take a 5 year hiatus.  [Contact Music]
  • Damien Rice is working on a new album.  [Billboard]
  • Britney Spears has actually had a professional publicist all this time?  Who knew someone was getting paid to allow her to make a fool of herself for more than two years?  [Radar]
  • Bow Wow shows all the wack rappers how to get their gangsta on by duetting with Chris Brown.  [Cake and Ice Cream]
  • Moby complaining about email and the Internet is like a fish complaining about how wet water is.  [Gawker]
  • Ice Cube’s lawyers work hard to make sure that their client will never miss any unpaid royalties.  [Idolator]
  • Teens have forgotten about MTV because they are too busy surfing YouTube.  [UK Telegraph]
  • Eve is working on a new album.  [Billboard]
Advertisements

News and Nonsense

September 30, 2006

CZJ 

  • T-Mobile has decided to stop paying Catherine Zeta-Jones millions of dollars to annoy millions of people on tv.  [London Times] 
  • Film piracy reportedly cost the US economy $20 billion a year, while the war in
    Iraq, government overspending, and corporate tax breaks barely made a dent.  [BBC]  
  • Tony Parker finally realized that dating Eva Longoria was ruining his future love life; by the time she finished telling all of his private business to the press, no other women would want to date him. [A Socialite’s Life] 

  • After firing Star Jones, demoting Elizabeth Vargas, and downsizing Bob Woodruff, we shouldn’t be surprised that ABC has started firing people from the staff of Good Morning America.  [Jossip]  

  • Janice Dickinson states the obvious about the fashion industry in her new book.  [Contact Music]  

  • Vanity Fair was so impressed with Jessica Coen’s skills at trashing their publication that they hired her to write for them.  [Gawker

  • Girlfriends has officially jumped the shark.  [LA Times


Fun with Craigslist: Tyra Banks Edition

September 10, 2006

Craigslist

 [Via Oh No They Didn’t]

ARE YOU A ‘PART TIME’ LESBIAN?
Are you or someone you know a part-time lesbian?
Do you hook up with girls only when you are partying?
Do you want to have your first lesbian experience?
Did you experiment with girls for a while but now you’re back to strictly dating guys?
Does your boyfriend/husband love or hate the fact that you hook up with girls sometimes?
Are you a lesbian who hates the idea of a ‘part time’ lesbian?
IF you or any of your friends want to weigh in on this topic the Tyra Banks talk show is looking for some strong opinionated/outgoing females…please send you name, age, brief story, recent photo, and your contact info

Translation:

Are you a female who’s on the “down low” (meaning, are you a woman who presents herself as a heterosexual, but who occasionally dabbles with other women in bed)?

Do you know a “down low” chick, and want to “out” her on national TV?

Are you a straight woman who typically finds herself necking with other women when you get drunk (e.g., Michelle Rodriguez)?

Do you secretly want to have sex with other women, but are afraid to?

Did you have your obligatory “lesbian semester” in college, but are now back to a “guys only” shagging policy?

Does your male partner love/hate the fact that you have sex with other women from time to time?  Does he only like it when you are willing to have sex with another woman in his presence?  Does he limit your “lesbian experimentation” experiences to femme/feminine women?

Are you a real lesbian who is tired of dealing with “down low” chicks?

If you or any of your friends want to weigh in on this topic, The Tyra Banks Talk Show is looking for some opinionated, boisterous, and outspoken women to discuss the topic on the show.  If you are interested, please send your name, age, brief bio (with at least one titillating/salacious anecdotal story to share with the audience), recent photo (so that our producers can accurately determine if you are feminine/fabulous enough to be seen on television; you might get the chance to strut down Tyra’s runway if you possess a decent amount of fabulosity), and your contact info (because recycling is a good thing, if you have the right look, you might get a chance to try out for the next season of America’s Next Top Model). 

We are hoping to narrow the focus of this particular installment of the show down to lesbians/part-time lesbians/”down low” females only; so if you are an openly bisexual woman, a transgendered female, a butch lesbian, or a man, you need not respond to this ad.  We are trying to keep the show on the classy side (yes, we know Tyra’s no Oprah, but she’s not Jenny Jones, either); for our casting purposes, former Jerry Springer Show guests will be avoided.

Compensation: To Be Determined (You might be presented with a gift bag of free cosmetics and hair care products that were left over from America’s Next Top Model, if this episode of the Tyra Banks Show actually airs).


Random Ruminations

September 10, 2006

 Milla Jovovich 

  • Milla Jovovich uses her acting gigs to bankroll her fashion ventures.  [LA Times
  • A few random, little known facts about celebrities.  [ONTD]
  • Mike Tyson is still providing the public with a freakshow, only this time, he’s getting paid for it.  [ONTD]
  • Some people will do anything for publicity… while others are probably praying right now to win back their anonymity.  [London Times, Metafilter (NSFW)]
  • Scarlett Johansson wants to act in a horror film, because she’s got a lot of practice with feeling scared whenever she sees Josh Hartnett in a darkened room.  [Contact Music]
  • Sex blogs are the new black.  [UK Observer]
  • After Ellen chronicles the disappearance of the tomboy on TV.  [After Ellen]

Sunday Sundries

September 10, 2006

Maggie Gyllenaal 

  • If you thought you hadn’t seen enough of Maggie Gyllenhaal, think again; she’ll be in four new films this fall.  [LA Times]
  • Profile of Katie Couric.  [Independent]
  • The folks at Flavorpill show us a thing or two about marketing in the new millennium.  [NYT]
  • Is dropping out of Yale to become a model a smart thing to do?  Apparently, it is if you look like Joy Bryant.  [LA Times]
  • Profile of Larry David, from HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm.  [Independent]
  • A preview of the new fall TV shows.  [New York Magazine]
  • A preview of the fall film releases.  [New York Magazine]
  • Profile of Penelope Cruz.  [NYT]
  • Patti Smith talks about her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe.  [Independent]

News and Nonsense

September 7, 2006

Michael K. Williams 

  • Interview with Michael K. Williams.  [After Elton
  • First L.A.M.B., then the infant line, and now dolls– Gwen Stefani is determined to gain a monopoly on spreading poor fashion taste.  [PopWatch]
  • Let the Suri Cruise birth conspiracy theories begin.  [A Socialite’s Life , Gawker]
  • AFI’s Top 25 musicals of all time.  [Movie Blog]
  • It seems that Jessica Simpson should have recorded “Promiscuous”, not Nelly Furtado.  [Celebitchy]
  • Ellen Degeneres to host next year’s Oscars.  [Defamer]
  • Rupert Everett is apparently upset that Madonna’s plastic surgery turned out better than his.  [PopWatch]
  • Since we’re midway through the decade, and he’s hasn’t written a successful screenplay in since the last decade, it’s time for Joe Eszterhas to release another tell-all book.  [StarBlogs]